I suffer from crunchy nappy syndrome too
thanks to an over-efficient front loader. I spin my nappies on a lower spin cycle and that seems to help a lot. I used to use vinegar when we just used flats but now I'm paranoid it will wreck the elastic. I also run anything that is a bit stiff across the edge of a table and that softens it up. We don't have a dryer but maybe you could just do 5 minutes when you bring them in to soften them up
