[mum2miya]

You know Bec, I was reading one of our Dr Karl books the other day and he says that it's a good thing to be able to "hold on"...that going "just in case" can actually train the bladder to hold less urine before signalling it is full. So going on his advice I'd say not to worry about Alex holding on for ages.
No advice from me on the rest of your post. Miya did it all herself and Toby doesn't have a clue yet lol!