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Thread: The next series of Survivor

  1. #1
    Super Moderator
    Midwife in the making
    ~Melissa~'s Avatar
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    Default The next series of Survivor

    I got this on email today & it made me laugh (even though I've seen it before ).

    Hope it puts a smile on you face too

    THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

    Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and
    3 kidseach for six weeks.

    Each kid will play
    two sports
    and either take music
    or dance classes.

    There is no fast food.

    Each man must
    take care of his 3 kids;
    keep his assigned house clean ,
    correct all homework,
    and complete science projects,
    cook, dolaundry,
    and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
    with not enough money.

    In addition, each man
    will have to budget in money
    for groceries each week.

    Each man
    must remember the birthdays
    of all their friends and relatives,
    and send cards out
    on time--no emailing .

    Each man must also
    take each child to a doctor's appointment,
    a dentist appointment
    and a haircut appointment.

    He must make
    one unscheduled and inconvenient
    visit per child
    to the Urgent Care.

    He must also
    make cookies or cupcakes
    for a social function.

    Each man will be responsible for
    decorating his own assigned house,
    planting flowers outside
    and keeping it presentable
    at all times.

    The men will only
    have access to television
    when the kids are asleep
    and all chores are done.

    The men must
    shave their legs ,
    wear makeup daily,
    adorn himselfwith jewelry,
    wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
    keep fingernails polished
    and eyebrows groomed .

    During one of the six weeks,
    the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches,
    and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or
    slow down from other duties.

    They must attend
    weekly school meetings,
    church, and find time
    at least once to spend the afternoon
    at the park or a similar setting.

    They will need to
    read a book to the kids
    eachnight and in the morning,
    feed them, dress them,
    brush their teeth and
    comb their hair by 7:00 am.

    A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
    each child's birthday,
    height, weight,
    shoe size, clothes size
    and doctor's name.
    Also the child's weight at birth,
    length, time of birth,
    and length of labor,
    each child's favorite color,
    middle name,
    favorite snack,
    favorite song,
    favorite drink,
    favorite toy,
    biggest fear and
    what they want to be when they grow up.

    The kids vote them off the island
    based on performance.
    The last man wins only if...
    he still has enough energy
    to be intimate with his spouse
    at a moment's notice.

    If the last man does win,
    he can play the game over and over
    and over again for the next 18-25 years
    eventually earning the right
    To be called Mother!
    Melissa
    Proud mum to Caitlyn (8) Emily (6) Chelsea (4)
    ~ My new blog ~


  2. #2
    definately not a
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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor

    would be very interesting... (although I don't do nails and wear stylish but uncomfy shoes etc so maybe I wouldn't pass either lol)
    Brooke James Grace (10)
    Jake Graeme Neville (8)
    Zeke Machaiah Vincent (4.5)
    Brenna Emmile Ann with Angel Wings
    Quinn Michael Jurien (1)
    Brenna's page and my blog
    The World has lost a truly amazing Lady...




  3. #3

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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
    Bec - Mummy of 2 gorgeous boys
    Alex (28-9-05) & Sam (10-8-09)
    RIP our fur baby Kyah 3-11-09

  4. #4
    *~Blah Blah Blah~*
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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor

    Quote Originally Posted by Bec259 View Post
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
    I second that!

    Geez my bladder control problem almost had another slip
    Mel (25) Mumma to
    Jaidan (6) Chase (4) Ash (1) Elijah due 2nd June 2010

  5. #5

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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor

    Quote Originally Posted by missymoo84 View Post
    I second that!

    Geez my bladder control problem almost had another slip
    My mum & I were only just talking about this kind of thing today. I was talking about how if Alex cries through the night (DH co-sleeps with him atm due to my leg & arm), but it is me who gets up to him even though DH sleeps right next to him - he doesn't hear him 90% of the time.....of course!!
    I wondered if gay men who have children (not being politically incorrect in any way - I totally support same sex parenting!) have the 'maternal mother instinct' where you can hear your child the minute they stir - even if they are in another room at the other end of the house?
    Bec - Mummy of 2 gorgeous boys
    Alex (28-9-05) & Sam (10-8-09)
    RIP our fur baby Kyah 3-11-09

  6. #6
    Moderator Shannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor



    GOLD!
    Shannon - Tired and Cranky Mum to 4 lovely girls

    Crafty Desires
    My Blog

  7. #7
    MGlatte's Avatar
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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor

    That is too funny! DH would fail the quizz at the end with birth dates and middle names! I've even had to spell Caelan for him.
    Melanie, Mum to Eden 5 & Caelan 2
    14.3 kgs gone

  8. #8
    Nappy Art Collector Supreme Being AliP's Avatar
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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor

    Love it!
    Big sister born November 2005
    And twin pink bundles born October 2007

  9. #9
    *~Blah Blah Blah~*
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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor

    hmm I dunno Bec... would be interesting to find out
    I used to get sooo annoyed at the 'selective hearing' of males when bubs cry...
    Mel (25) Mumma to
    Jaidan (6) Chase (4) Ash (1) Elijah due 2nd June 2010

  10. #10

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    Default Re: The next series of Survivor

    Quote Originally Posted by missymoo84 View Post
    hmm I dunno Bec... would be interesting to find out
    I used to get sooo annoyed at the 'selective hearing' of males when bubs cry...
    I have strange thoughts pop into my head at times!
    Bec - Mummy of 2 gorgeous boys
    Alex (28-9-05) & Sam (10-8-09)
    RIP our fur baby Kyah 3-11-09

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