OT - child harness - what are your thoughts?

[partyof4]

when I had Charlotte and my nephew who was 7 ish at the time..I made him hold a strap attached to the pram..cause I was still sore from a c-section..and I wouldnt be able to chase after him..thats about as close as I got to using one..luckily never had to use it with Charlotte..although now her fave game is hide n seek espcially when we are out..if she does run..I tell her I will hold gher hand for the rest of the day and thats enough to keep her by my side..I suppose I would consider it if Lil was more flighty in future..but I honestly cringe at the thought of using them..but thats cause I have never had the prob

[waawa]

I think you do what you have to do to keep your child alive while you're teaching the boundaries. Some learn them faster than others, and some environments are more dangerous than others.

We didn't have to use one (came close at times) but certainly if at the time I'd been dealing with more than one child, or with disability, or with behavioural issues any worse than we experienced, or if we'd lived in a big city - we would have ended up using some sort of restraint.

Personally I find it kind of obvious that using a safety tool doesn't excuse or mitigate bad parenting, but I guess some people don't? We used cupboard latches too, but at the same time we taught Luke not to poke around in cupboards at other people's houses and supervised him closely. But at home we sometimes just needed to relax for a few seconds and ease up on the suicide watch.

[shelly]

I feel its a lose/lose situation. I used one with Maddy for a while and got nasty coments, then when I strapped her into the pram (she is a pram hater) she just screamed so people abused me for that and at 18 months carrying her in the hatchling sling in a hip carry caused me to see a physio and chiropracter and be in a huge amount of pain..

I must admit the dog/monkey backpack with the tail looks much "kinder" than the standard harness. My girlfriend who has 18 month old twins and a 5 month old actually got nasty comments when out with her boys in a harness.

The best coment I heard as a comeback (this is stolen from another forum) is " I wonder what would have happend if Jamie bulgers mum had one?"

[johT]

who shelly??

[~Miss Cinders~]

If a harness (no matter how it looks) is going to save my babies from being hurt or even worse taken by a weirdo, then damn right I would use one! (I think I've already said this ^^ up there somewhere?!)

Jeni I had never thought of the dropkicks who would do the things you listed! I can't believe there are parents like that! (Although I should know better than make a statement like that!)

[mummyslittlemunchkin]

I personally don't like them but can understand the need for parents to use them. Whatever works to keep your family safe and sound.

[KristyMum]

The best coment I heard as a comeback (this is stolen from another forum) is " I wonder what would have happend if Jamie bulgers mum had one?"

but what gets me about comments like that, while I fully 'get' what it is saying Shelly, I do, is that one, I don't think it's ... it's... whatever the word is... (I can't think of the word atm)
and two, I don't think it's the ONLY thing that could have made a difference - if people want to talk 'could have/would have' made a difference then it's not the ONLY thing that could have saved him...

[Jeni]

Joh.. Jaimie Bulger is the toddler who got taken in a shopping center in England and tortured and killed by two young boys.

I understand what you mean Kristie.. its a rhetorical question based on false logic... it could easily be rephrased to include 'holding hands' or other methods.

[~karen~]

reading waawa's post could give anyone the best comeback

"I think you do what you have to do to keep your child alive while you're teaching the boundaries"

i also think it would be interesting to read why people don't like them, rather than just i don't like them - i know you say you've written it elsewhere. and perhaps you've pm'd tanya. but it would be useful to read the other side written objectively (which i'd expect you would do kristy)

hugs
kaz


although i wonder regularly why it is that folk in shops/libraries/etc ( you know strangers especially) feel free to comment to others on their parenting - it pings me off when i get it - oh she just needs to hug her mummy, oh she needs playgroup, oh she likes stickers - a sticker chart is a good reward - sigh

[Lousmum]

I used to think they were terrible myself..... until I had a child. fortunately I haven't had to use one, but I would if the necessity arose. I have had Louis run from me in shops and they are so fast, they are gone before you realise sometimes. and while the carparks scare me, it's other people who scare me more Luckily for us it only took a couple of outings threatened with being back in the pram if he didn't hold hands and not try to get away and run, for him to settle down and walk with us and stay. he's really good now. I suspect that Marcus may be a whole different kettle of fish.

For peace of mind (and obviously not so that you can forget you have a child with you while you do your thing!) then if you need it, use it. And who cares what other people say. You can't win either way. People get PO'd if kids are running amok in shopping centres, and they'll get PO'd if you are restraining your child so he/she doesn't do that. Do what you have to do while this is a problem IMO. It's no one else's business.