Is it normal - TT question

[Le Bec]

We've decided to take Wem's advice and let Erin roam around pants free so she can learn what if feels like to need to wee. This is only the second day of pants off, yesterday she was fine. She'd just wee on the floor and then point to the floor no dramas.

Today though she's been getting upset. I got her up from her sleepless afternoon sleep and changed her. She'd done a poo so I said to her poos go in the toilet hey? Do you want to come and put the poo in the toilet and press the button? She was keen on that and then a little later she kept lifting up her shirt, holding her bits and saying "poo" so I asked if she needed to go to the toilet and put her on the potty. She didn't do anything and got back up.

On and off for maybe five minutes she kept doing the same thing and I'd do the same as before with the same results. Shortly after that she weed on the floor and started to get really upset.

Is it normal for her to be getting upset like that? I'm really feeling way out to sea on this

[Superwoman]

Yeah, til you get the first wee on the potty - it's just lots of sitting on, getting off etc. Until BINGO! They do it once - then you make such a fuss that they want to do it again for you - well that's how it's supposed to work.

With DD (20- months) - she was a bit older - so easier than DS - I would pop her on mid wee if I could catch her - ie if I saw her doing a wee - I'd practically throw her on the potty & then when she was finished we could look at the wee in the potty and pretend she'd done the whole lot in there.

Also does she know what a poo is? I mean have you taught her that yet? I have alwasy spent time teaching them before starting the TT. So when you see her doing a poo in her nappy - you teach her the word poo - so that she knows that's what she's doing.

And then once they can take themselves - you gotta get them to tell you when they are out & about. DD was a sinch with this - she loved going to public toilets. DS was the opposite and wouldn't tell me til he was over 2.

Oh, one more thing. The first few days were a bit wrong - I must have given DD the impression that all wee was bad - obviously by telling her that she's not to do wee on the ground - she thought she wasn't allowed to do it at all. So I had to take her to the toilet when I went and make her listen to me & tell her that I was doing a wee. "Yucky MummY" "No, good girl mummy, mummy is doing wee on the toilet, hooray for mummy" But we stuck with that a bit longer than necessary and when out in public she's scream "Good girl mummy - mummy doing wee" and when you came out of the cubicle you could see everyone smirking! Hahahaha

[Lousmum]

I might question the need to TT her at this point? she's not quite 2 right?

IMO if you start too early/push too hard they can get a negative feeling about it and it can backfire.

I've always waited until my kids had really good language skills (at least that I could understand!) and when we had a good block of time to just be at home for a while to focus on it (ie, no trips out where accidents would be a real PITB). I've personally found there's a big gap between knowing when they HAVE done something and knowing when they ARE GOING to do something and being able to control it to get to the toilet/potty. She might be feeling bad about weeing on the floor and this is upsetting her probably.

I was just reading your blog and I don't necessarily agree that being able to take their nappy off and play with their poo is a sign that they are ready to TT. It's a sign that they know how to take their nappy off and they found something interesting in it and had a play

[Le Bec]

I might question the need to TT her at this point? she's not quite 2 right?

No need and I'm happy to go back to nappies if she's still weeing on the floor and getting upset about it over the next couple of days. I could be miss interpreting her, god knows that's happened before, she actually started out last week bringing me the potty and tugging at her nappy. When I took her nappy off she sat on the potty. I think she'd already been by then because her nappy felt wet and there were only a few drips in the potty.

I've always waited until my kids had really good language skills (at least that I could understand!) and when we had a good block of time to just be at home for a while to focus on it (ie, no trips out where accidents would be a real PITB). I've personally found there's a big gap between knowing when they HAVE done something and knowing when they ARE GOING to do something and being able to control it to get to the toilet/potty. She might be feeling bad about weeing on the floor and this is upsetting her probably.

Erin's language is actually above average for a two year old (her birthday is on the week end but she's only 21 months corrected). She has about 60 words and a handful of two and three word sentences. Her speech is pretty clear (usually) and she has been telling me she has a poo in her nappy for a little while.

The only reason we're trying at all is because she seems interested. She's been following me to the loo for months now and saying "wee" or "poo" for a little while. It'd actually be more convenient for me if she'd stay in nappies because I can't get any undies to fit at least there are a few brands/types of nappies that do

I was just reading your blog and I don't necessarily agree that being able to take their nappy off and play with their poo is a sign that they are ready to TT. It's a sign that they know how to take their nappy off and they found something interesting in it and had a play

*nod* yeah, I tend to agree. If it hadn't been for her bringing me the potty I'd probably just be keeping her in nappies - might still.

The biggest reason I asked about this is because, if it is a sign that she's not ready or if it's stressing her then obviously I want to stop. If she's not ready she's not ready. If there's anything my wee girl has taught us it's that she'll do everything exactly when she's ready and not a second before.

[Vicky]

this is the problem i have with Jacinta and she is well old enough
she just gets hysterical about sitting on the potty
and gets upset if she makes a mess

can't help with a solution but it is normal

[Superwoman]

Vicky - Try sitting her on the potty with her clothes on & give her a reward for doing that - jellybean, sticker - whatever you are using. Then when she's comfy with that try some clothes off or even warm the potty (in the shower) . You can't get a wee on the potty til she will relax those muscles while she's on there.

[Le Bec]

I'm glad it's normal, so we'll keep going and see where we get. If she's not interested then we'll go back to nappies.

[AliP]

I've personally found there's a big gap between knowing when they HAVE done something and knowing when they ARE GOING to do something and being able to control it to get to the toilet/potty.

I couldn't agree more. I also think they've got to learn that they can't hold on forever too - that was one of our biggest dramas.

Isabel was under 2 when she started taking her nappy off and wanting to sit on the potty. She is over 3 now and still has accidents or gets upset from time-to-time. I think we should have been lower key about it when she wanted to use the potty as I think she has some negative associations.

We try to sit J&N on the potty every night before bath. They have had a couple of successes, but mostly they like to sit and clap. The also go and sit on the potty fully clothed just because. I will be much more laid back when it comes to potty training them I think.

[Lousmum]

The biggest reason I asked about this is because, if it is a sign that she's not ready or if it's stressing her then obviously I want to stop. If she's not ready she's not ready. If there's anything my wee girl has taught us it's that she'll do everything exactly when she's ready and not a second before.

yep, she'll let you know if she wants to do it or not

my boys didn't train until they were around 3. Marcus took a bit longer. Louis had really good language skills before 2 also, but still wasn't making the connection between wee and the toilet.

I couldn't agree more. I also think they've got to learn that they can't hold on forever too - that was one of our biggest dramas.

oh yeah I still have issues to this day with the holding-on-to-the-last-minute! with both of them and Louis is 6! drives me bonkers.

good luck with it

[kabailz13]

We are toilet training James now and he has only JUST (as in the past few weeks) 'gotten' that he needs to go to the toilet BEFORE he wees. He has known for a long time that wees go in the toilet but never got the timing right.

That being said, I do believe that speech is a huge part of it all as James has quite delayed speech (1-1.5 years delayed) so maybe now is the right time for your daughter