Holding onto poos

[~Melissa~]

Chelsea has been TT'ed for a few weeks now & she started off perfectly well doing both wees & poos happily in the toilet. All of a sudden she has started holding onto her poos until they get to the point where she can't hold onto them anymore & they just come out, usually into her knickers. She seems to be constantly dancing around holding onto her bottom & complaining of a sore tummy but she just won't go to the toilet & push the damn thing out!

A couple of times now she has even wet herself because she doesn't want to even sit on the toilet to do her wee in case the poo comes out as well

I just don't know what to do to help her with this. Maybe a reward chart? I haven't used one before so not sure if it would work or not. Any suggestions would be welcome

[johT]

dunno. jade did this and outgrew it, brees still waiting for her night nappy quite easily lol

[Jojo]

My son went through this too. He developed a phobia of the toilet (for poos - was fine with wees) after a bout of gastro he had. He would hold on and hold on and then became constipated. This then led to a small anal fissure which obviously hurt thus starting the whole cycle of 'holding on' to it over again.

Maybe just check she hasn't got something like a slight fissure? Just to make sure it isn't a physical problem causing her to want to hang on. If she isn't complaining of it hurting then it prob isn't that but never hurts to be sure IYKWIM.

James grew out of it eventually. I didn't push the issue and then suddenly one day he just got used to it. Maybe a reward chart would be putting too much emphasis/pressure on the situation? Do you think it could be an attention seeking behaviour maybe? Just thinking out loud.

Good luck

[monstermon]

My DS did a similar thing... initially TT'ed for wees and poos at the same time, but something happened that scared him (have no idea what!), and he became very terrified of pooing in the potty or toilet. I think it was some kind of developmental comfort thing, and I think it is pretty common with acquisition of new skills...

We tried a lot of different things, like role-playing with teddies and puppets on the potty, reading story books about TTing, backing off and letting him do it the way he needed/wanted to, bribery (yes, he was promised cake!! - we were desperate!) In the end, for him, the only thing that really helped is time. We did often talk about how the potty and toilet made him feel, but after a lot of ineffective trying on our part, we just decided we needed to let him do it in his own time.... I'm not that keen on the use of rewards, because it implicitly implies that the undesired behaviour is wrong or naughty, and it may be a much more complex issue than that for your child, especially if it is stemming from a fear....

Your DD has only been using her new skill for a few weeks, so it may just be a temporary thing. For our DS, it took a full year of requesting a nappy for poos before he showed us signs of being ready for the toilet, but when it happened it was instant and complete.

Hope this stage doesn't last a year for you!!
monique

[twinmama]

Brandon does the same thing. He was great, and then suddenly he'd start holding onto poos and we'd get it out, over the course of a day, dirtying 5 - 6 pairs of pants. Then he'll be fine for weeks and it starts again. It's soooooooo frustrating. He's completely toilet trained (including night), his sister isn't even in undies at night, but he can't do poos on the toilet!

[tikki]

would she be more comfortable pooing on a potty than the toilet, Mel? I think the splash and the big drop can be a bit frightening for littlies. Can she go into the toilet with Caitlyn or Emily when they're in there, to see that they will happily poo on the toilet? The influence of bigger siblings is a great factor If not, I'd probably try not to make too big a deal of it, I think it's a pretty common occurrence in TTing

Lily likes to commentate her poos, telling you who is coming out next I like her to do them in the toilet though, as otherwise she will bring me the potty in great excitement saying, "Look mummy, I did a slippery slug/snail (or whatever shape she thinks it resembles) poo."

[~Melissa~]

Originally Posted by mylenna

My son went through this too. He developed a phobia of the toilet (for poos - was fine with wees) after a bout of gastro he had.

That's interesting that you mention that because she had gastro 2 weeks ago & this all seemed to start after that

Originally Posted by tikki

Lily likes to commentate her poos, telling you who is coming out next I like her to do them in the toilet though, as otherwise she will bring me the potty in great excitement saying, "Look mummy, I did a slippery slug/snail (or whatever shape she thinks it resembles) poo."

We used to do that with Emily too Georgie Even now, she will still look back & tell us what sort of poo she's done

[lotusutol]

I'm glad people are mentioning that this is temporary and probably related to other developmental milestones.

My daughter started walking unaided this week, and promptly 'forgot' how to wee and poo in the toilet too, even though she has been doing it for a while now (very p/t EC). She also started getting clingy at bedtime.
Now she's over her night time clingyness and had her second night of good sleep.
The toilet thing is getting better, so hopefully she'd get over it soon too

[AliP]

This has happened to Isabel Mel. I think it happened because she had a painful poo and then was too scared to poo again in case it hurt. We have had to make sure she's drinking enough so she doesn't get dehydrated and rewards have helped a lot. Often reminding her to go means when she's there the poo will come out.

Chelsea is such a clever girl, I'm sure it's temporary and she will be back to pooing in the toilet.

[kyton]

Harriet has been using the toilet / potty since Christmas without any issues for peeing however she has really only started to poo in the last three weeks. She went through exactly the same stage as Chelsea sounds like she is going through now. Harriet too would hold on and then complain about soor tummy / wouldn't sleep properly and was generally irritiable. It took months until she felt comfortable again going to that next step. Now she is fully toilet trained - other then naps / overnight when we still rely on a nappy just in case.

We have been using the reward system - just because Harriet responded better. We bought a book of tiny stickers from the local $2 shop which she adores. Every poo she gets a sticker - however only poos at home - at grandparents / out she doesn't even ask. We also give lots and lots of praise - even to the point of phoning Daddy / Grandi to let them know when she has done one. She loves to inform people of when she has done a poo!!

I am sure that Chelsea will soon be going without any problems - just seems to be a normal occurrence for most littlies.