From the author of The Queen's Knickers comes a warm witty look at the world of the Royal Baby and the Royal Nappy!
'Hey, have you ever thought of becoming a dictator of some country and terrorizing its people for a few decades? Or dream of ruling the world by squelching free speech and crushing your enemies?' 'No, I don't think so.' 'No? Not even once?' 'No.' 'Come on, don't lie! Didn't your mother teach you not to lie? Everyone wants to rule the world. It is an inbuilt desire and everyone has illusions of grandeur and living in the lap of luxury. Don't feel embarrassed to admit it. There are few minds to which tyranny is not delightful. Who will say no to the delicious opportunity of becoming an emperor of a kingdom, own a few magnificent palaces, a set of luxury cars, a dozen private jets, swimming pools, sacks of gold and acquire a few other basic necessities if given a chance? Who cares about what the peasants and commoners think? Look, I can even coach you on how to become a dictator. Sounds interesting?' 'Hmm, I am still not sure.' 'No? Still can't decide? Really? That's too bad! Okay, then I will ask your neighbor if he is interested.' 'Hey, wait! Don't go away.' 'Aha, now I can see what you are thinking! I knew you would see the light. You want to know how to become a dictator, right? Then look no further. Everything you wanted to know about how to become a dictator, but were too embarrassed to ask is available right here in this concise guide. It contains the most comprehensive specifications and do's & don'ts for every aspiring dictator. There is no need to read thick boring books on history, communism, etc. So let us get started before somebody else beats you to it.'
Ladies and Gentlemen! Are you interested in the world's greatest and easiest job? Do you want a profession that is too good to be true? A career so unique that it prescribes no educational qualifications, age limitations, tough trainings, work timings, or mental and physical qualifications for the candidate. Secondly, no other profession on this planet has the freedom, flexibility, liberty, elasticity, autonomy, uniqueness, independence, excitement, thrill, adventure, ecstasy, and variety that this unbelievable job offers. Thirdly, there are no interviews required and the pay check can exceed a million dollars or more. Forget the dull jobs that require you to slog 24x7 with eternal headaches like bad bosses, bad colleagues, office politics, recession, downsizing, outsourcing, etc, etc. And there is absolutely no catch. Sounds interesting? No, I am not kidding. Honest, such a job does really exist! All right, tell me what it that job. Simple, just become a Modern Artist. Hmm, okay, but how do I become one? Good, I thought you would never ask that question. Now let me enlighten you on how to become a modern artist and what great art is all about. Just sit on this artistic stone chair and listen carefully. And watch out for those sharp nails on the cushion.
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